


If You Don't Love Me Now

by runicmagitek



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst with a Happy Ending, Elevator Sex, F/M, Fix-It, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Resolved Sexual Tension, if you squint there's plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 12:33:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13318188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runicmagitek/pseuds/runicmagitek
Summary: Their mission is complete, the world is crumbling, and Cassian opens up to Jyn. At least they're alone in the elevator together.





	If You Don't Love Me Now

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wingsyouburn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingsyouburn/gifts).



> Merry Belated Christmas, braintwin! ♥

She hadn’t expected to die on Scarif; she embraced death long before boarding the hijacked Imperial shuttle—Rogue One, she reminded herself. She awaited death when she hid from the death troopers, clinging to the Kyber crystal her mother bestowed upon her and mentally chanting prayers only the Force would acknowledge. But she didn’t die then. She lived.

Jyn scoffed at that thought—more like survived than anything. 

But it was enough to bring her to Scarif and get the job done that no one else bothered to attempt, let alone deemed possible. And once the transfer of schematics completed, dread festered in her stomach. What now? None of them planned this far out. Her eyes scanned across to the horizon; nothing but destruction lied in the wake of the Imperials. She blinked back tears and convinced herself the massive, spherical ship in the sky, just like the one from Jedha, was a hallucination. 

The abrupt, rapid cough snapped her back to reality. Cassian trembled beside her and Jyn rushed to steady him. He still clutched his wound, but his eyes lingered upon the skies. For the first time, she found defeat glazing over his eyes. 

“We need to go,” she managed out.

Cassian didn’t answer.

“Come on,” she grumbled, but even her stern tone wavered. “They’re waiting for us.”

He exhaled, a scoff woven through his breath. “No. No one is.”

“Yes, they—”

“Well, they shouldn’t be.”

Hard eyes pierced through Cassian and he never dared to meet Jyn’s gaze. There was truth in his words, though her stubbornness believed otherwise. No matter what she said, her chest continued to hollow out and her head thrummed from the barrage of toxic thoughts. 

“We can’t stay here,” she said.

“And where do you suggest we go?” Cassian asked with an air of sarcasm. 

She bit back a smirk; at least he still had his wits about him. “Somewhere more comfortable.”

While he coughed up a laugh, Jyn steadied Cassian against her and inched towards the elevator. The wind whipped loose strands of hair about her sweaty, grimy face. Explosions tumbled behind them in the distance and TIE fighters and X-wings alike fell from the skies like shooting stars. All of it paled to a distant echo as she focused on Cassian’s heartbeat pumping through him and into her.

Despite his failing constitution, they made it to the elevator. He groaned when she repositioned him and shifted her weight to slam a fist into the console. The door creaked open to welcome a cold, metal interior with flickering lights. 

“Unless there’s a bed in here,” Cassian muttered, “I doubt we’ll find any place _comfortable_.”

“Neither of us is getting a bed anytime soon,” Jyn responded, dragging him inside.

“No.... Wishful thinking, I guess.”

_Plenty of things are wishful thinking at the moment,_ she kept to herself.

“Once we get back to Rogue One, there should be a medical cot we can strap you to.” Jyn fussed with the buttons to bring them to the ground level. “Hopefully that will suffice.”

Another dry chuckle rattled out of Cassian and Jyn did her best not to roll her eyes. Perhaps humor made his nights bearable growing up as a rebel, but right now? Jyn needed actual hope when her soul wished to scream and flee. Laughter did nothing to dull the void consuming her heart. What was so funny about their pathetic survival chance, anyways? They needed to stay sharp if they desired a miracle to whisk them away. 

“It’s not big enough,” Cassian ended up saying.

Rage mixed with dread and ignited a fire in her watery eyes. Snapping her head to Cassian with the intent to chew him out, she hesitated. Softness enveloped his features as he looked upon her not with disgust and distrust, as he always had, but with something else. 

“Was hoping to have something big enough to share with you,” Cassian murmured. 

Jyn held her breath, swore her heart ceased to work, and then the elevator doors slammed shut. 

She recognized his stare for her in short time. It was paired with choice words to remind her of their task at hand. That was all they ever were to each other—a means to an end. Calling one another allies crossed a line, though it was more than mildly tolerating one another. Jyn found rage in those eyes, which belonged to someone groomed by the Rebel Alliance. She reasoned it was due to who she was: Galen Erso’s daughter, a step removed from the enemy and thus irredeemable. Many years of frustration and agony fired at her with a single look. 

From that confession alone, she no longer questioned if those eyes ever held something beyond anger—she knew.

They stared at one another, the elevator trembling through its gradual descent. One arm clung to Cassian’s waist while the other braced along the wall. He clung to her shoulder—for stability, Jyn convinced herself. Now something else resided in that desperate grasp. 

She grew to hate the way he looked at her for a myriad of reasons, all of which gave her more reason to punch him in the face when this was all over. But Jyn couldn’t lie to herself; she, too, gazed over to the passionate captain in hopes for more than another pointless argument. With each step they took together on Scarif, she prayed that this wouldn’t be their final moments together. With each step, she glanced over to Cassian, trying not to be awestruck by how damn well he looked in that uniform. A disgusting Imperial uniform, yes, but better reason for it to be torn from his body. But Cassian would never regard her above even the Imperials. Still, idle fantasies did wonders to drive one through dire circumstances. 

She wanted to hit him. She wanted to hug him. She wanted to scream how foolish he was. She wanted to drown him with kisses.

_He_ _’d never think of you more than a link to those data plans,_ she reminded herself time and time again. 

Now Cassian looked at her as one marveled the countless stars.

The intermittent light highlighted his face. The ongoing battle vibrated through the walls. Holograms of numbers indicated the floors they passed by. None of it mattered except the body leaning into her, the hot breath teasing her, and those lips inches from hers. They both tugged at one another in sync, as if it had been planned all along. Jyn wished that much was true. So many regrets riffled through her mind—of how they should have done this sooner, of how they should have truly rescued Galen, of how they could have stopped this planet from going to fuck all—but her thoughts silenced when their lips found each other.

Nothing soft resided in that kiss. Pure fire fueled their greedy actions until desperate moans spilled from those lips. Jyn opened her mouth to him and Cassian met his tongue with hers. Her breath dragged in her raw throat when he bit and sucked her lip, all while the world around them perished. 

And every time she opened her eyes in between those breaks for air, Jyn half expected to wake up elsewhere. _This is a dream_ , she thought when Cassian plunged back in for more. _None of this is real,_ she thought when his shaky hands explored the curve of her body. _I_ _’ll wake up soon,_ she thought when he pinned her to the wall with his own body, confirming his desire matched her own. 

Once more she opened her eyes and gazed upon Cassian. Her arms enveloped him, one hand clutching his hair. Both their hips idly rocked into each other as a reminder of how much they yearned for this moment. Her pulse pounded in her ears. She licked her lips and Cassian coughed, but their foreheads met and their eyes never wavered.

“I don’t need a bed,” Jyn purred, unsure if she spoke those words or merely thought it. 

A distorted chime sounded through the elevator as the door struggled to break open. The ambiance of a lost battle boomed from the outside. Light flooded in along with sand and debris. She didn’t keep track of how long the door stayed open; her focus remained on Cassian. 

He struggled to stand, the weight against Jyn as much for support as it was out of lust. Those intense, beautiful eyes ripped through her like they always had, though now it brought a delightful thrum between her legs. She swallowed hard, prepared to offer something to fill the stifling silence, only to find Cassian groaning, leaning over, and slamming a fist against the console. The doors crept to a close, the destruction fading behind it. 

Before they closed, before Jyn could process a damn thing, Cassian brought himself back to her and growled, “Good.”

His lips returned to hers, hungrier than ever. Jyn gladly accepted suffocation as her sentence if it meant dying by his touch. Curious, yet frantic hands glided over battle-torn uniforms for a means to strip them away. She gasped into his mouth, unable to part more than an inch from him. Every visceral moan of his brought another wave of arousal through Jyn. It burned deep within and craved for only him to touch her, to worship her, to ravage her. Anything. Just so long as it was Cassian Andor who did it.

“You know, when I imagined this happening,” he moaned into her, “an elevator wasn’t my first thought.”

She hitched her breath as his mouth traveled down her neck. He thought of her. Before all of this. Jyn released a trembling coo and squirmed against Cassian.

“It wasn’t?” she humored him with.

“No.” 

He tore the opening of her top free, a few snaps popping off outright. Beneath she wore a simple tank top and compression bra—not enough layers to hide her stiff nipples.

“I wanted you,” Cassian continued, his honeyed lips and a stray hand traveling down her sternum, “in my pilot’s seat.”

Her heart skipped a beat. She imagined him preparing for flight, daft hands maneuvering various buttons and switches. And she would show up, push him back into his seat, straddle him, and have a completely different ride with him. His fingers pinching her nipples through fabric interrupted the fantasy and even then, Jyn tilted her head back and released a mix of delighted, yet frustrated sounds.

“I do like being on top,” Jyn confirmed while Cassian bit her neck and teased her nipples.

From the corner of her eye, she thought she caught him smirking. “And I do love a woman who knows what she wants.”

The mental image alone was enough fuel to help get her off. If only she possessed a means to go back in time and approach him in one of those few moments they were alone. She could pounce him before he got a word in, devour his lips, and crush herself against him. Anything to feel him throbbing through his pants and against her. Anything to bring forth those decadent purrs of his. Anything to rid themselves of what was necessary to feel him thrust into her and give her plenty of reason to cry out his name.

And she wanted that now more than anything: her legs wrapped around him as he pinned her to the wall and fucked her until they collapsed. Maybe not her initial idea when it came to how she wanted to die, but better than nothing. At least then they could say they did it despite the odds. There wouldn’t be a next time, even if they hadn’t voiced that much yet, but it was in their eyes, their lips, their hands.

Jyn skimmed the hem of his pants as he fondled her. She tore off his belt no different from how he opened her top and slipped her hand inside. A sly smirk tugged at her lips when Cassian stuttered in his actions. She did well to establish a firm grip around him before slowly stroking.

“I want this,” she managed to whisper into his ear, sucking on his earlobe before he pulled back. 

Cassian struggled to maintain composure, jerking his head to the side to cough and wince. The blood from his wound stained Jyn’s attire, but she paid no attention to the bloodied mark—only Cassian. She held her breath until his eyes met hers. Despite the pain and the rumbles through the elevator, he smirked back at her.

Jyn cracked a smile right as he dove in to deliver a hard kiss. She never ceased rubbing against him, loving the way he pulsed and rocked into her for more. All the whole, Cassian diverted his attention to her pants. He struggled more with the buckle than he had with her top and Jyn was quick to rip her utility belt off and whip it elsewhere. With the ties loosened, Jyn chewed her lip while Cassian eased a hand in to glide between her legs. 

A pair of briefs obstructed Cassian’s path, though his lips curled up. The soaked material might have had something to do with that devious expression. Blush splashed upon her cheeks with warmth as Cassian locked eyes to witness her reaction. He was a stark contrast to his previous advances: gentle, deliberate, and far slower than Jyn wanted. Those skilled hands she always found operating guns and controls with ease now caressed her, fingertips circling around her clit before rubbing along it. 

She arched her back on instinct, hissed in a breath, and exhaled a soft cry. Whatever she had been doing before came to a standstill; all her attention focused on the way Cassian Andor’s fingers stroked her. Jyn gulped down breaths in between her lustful yelps, tilting her hips to allow a better angle for him. He nuzzled into her face as she failed to still herself. Nothing else mattered but that sensation writhing through her and begging for more.

“Like this?” He breathed into her lips, barely picking up momentum. 

The friction sent an immense chill up her spine, to which Jyn couldn’t resist the urge to moan.

“Yes,” she whimpered back, lips ghosting over his. “Please... don’t stop.”

And he didn’t and she licked her grinning lips. 

It all vanished from her face when another abrupt cough doubled Cassian over and disabled him from performing. Jyn ripped her mind from the gutter in time to latch onto him before he outright collapsed. All those pleasures were but a distant whisper.

“We don’t need to do this,” she murmured while steadying him against her. _I don_ _’t want to see you in any more pain,_ she swallowed back.

“No, we don’t,” Cassian eventually forced out once the coughing subsided. “We didn’t have to do many things, but we did. Why?” He reeled back in to kiss her, this time a softer glow behind the drawn-out, passionate act.

And he looked into her eyes when they broke off, noses bumping and hearts beating out of time. 

“Because we want to,” he moaned out. 

Jyn restrained the need to latch onto him when his knees buckled and sunk to the floor. His collapse was far from graceful, but he remained upright. Before Jyn prodded him as to what brewed in his dirty mind, Cassian hooked his fingers over the hem of her pants and jerked them down past her knees in one, fluid motion. 

Nothing stood between herself and Cassian—only the thick air enticing them to close the space. A single hand brushed up her inner thigh, the muscles quivering from the touch. The fire flickering in his eyes burned into her mind before he allowed his tongue to pick up where his fingers had left off. 

Jyn cried out a curse for no one else to hear. Every lick brought another delightful pulse through her trembling form. That hot tongue paired with fingertips barely kissing her skin... it put thoughts in a girl’s mind. Plenty of them. All this time they spent arguing or wishing the other was dead and they could have found a quiet alcove to fuck it all out of their systems. Starting with that tongue of his, stroking her clit better than she could ever so alone.

She melted into his mouth, memorizing the subtle differences in each flick or how he intermittently sucked at the nub to elicit a coo. One hand combed through his ragged hair and gripped to the back of his head. In response, Cassian wrapped an arm around her thigh and quickened his rhythm.

Amidst squirming and pleading for more, Jyn thought back to his suggestion of the pilot’s seat. She imagined clinging to him, begging for Cassian to go harder, and moaning his name when he stroked her just right. It certainly would have made their time together more interesting than it already was if they got that out of the way to begin with. Then Jyn wouldn’t have to fantasize; she would know. And she ignored the dreadful echo in the back of her mind saying she never would. 

She focused on his tongue stroking her, his hand grasping her thigh, his fingers curling inside of her, and his breath teasing her each instance he emerged for air. Her body ached as if she had been craving a lifetime for this. Maybe she had. Maybe the sentiment was mutual, especially with how desperate he was to coax her closer to an orgasm. And Jyn loved every passing second. 

A few more, earnest licks before Jyn lost control. Every muscle twitched throughout the euphoria and she yelped, basking in the high before she crashed. Sweat slicked her skin, stray strands of hair sticking to her face. She gasped as her heart raced, though Cassian continued to lap away. Her body flinched at the sensory overload. He only stopped once he licked up every last inch of her. 

Her legs failed her, though Cassian was there to catch her this time. They embraced, burying faces into each other’s necks. Jyn feared if she let go, he’d be gone forever. Soon he would, but not this very second. She wanted to remember this moment. There wouldn’t be another. 

“Thank you,” she whimpered out, though the sound was accompanied by tears.

She couldn’t tell if he scoffed or snickered. “The pleasure was all mine.”

Jyn attempted to smile, but failed. Countless thoughts barraged her mind, none of them worth breathing life to. All she longed for was Cassian and whatever sense of calm that remained on Scarif. 

A hand trailed down Cassian’s chest and headed for the front of his pants. He snatched her wrist before she reached it. 

“Don’t,” he whispered into her hair. 

“But—”

“You owe me nothing, Jyn.” He nuzzled into her face to kiss her lips, softly, slowly. “For once, don’t feel the need to do something because your life depends on it.”

_But what if it did?_ “Maybe I want to.”

He cracked a small smile. “Perhaps another time.”

But they both knew the truth behind that. 

The erratic rumble progressed into a perpetual shake surrounding them. One of the lights blew out and Jyn clung onto Cassian. _If we_ _’re to die,_ she mused, _it sure as hell won_ _’t be in this elevator._

With whatever determination she had to spare, she brought both herself and Cassian to their feet, albeit wobbly. She took a moment to compose herself, mostly out of habit; even if the rest of the planet was focused on battle, no one needed to witness her bare ass. Once Cassian did the same, she hauled him towards the console, slammed a fist into the open button, and gasped.

She had recognized it from Jedha. How could anyone forget? The raw destruction burned into her memory and resurfaced to remind her of what was lost that day. Wide eyes blinked back tears as the explosion in the distance swelled up, inching closer to swallow everything in sight and deprive all that stood in its way of life. It didn’t discriminate against Rebels or Imperials. Death never did.

But Jyn ignored the dread eating her alive and dragged Cassian with her. They made it as far as the beach shore before he collapsed from a coughing fit bringing Jyn down with him. The quakes through Scarif dared to blow out her eardrums as the blast nearly blinded her, but all she focused on was Cassian. She glimpsed into those weary eyes, tempered by war and survival, and found the warmth he displayed to her not long ago. His face softened and his lips curled up into the slightest, yet most genuine smile. For her and only her. Jyn tried to mirror the sentiment, but the tears marred her face and her racing pulse lumped into her throat and her hands trembled against his.

It would all be over soon. Then they could return to the stars where they belonged.

“About time.”

The voice boomed through a comm speaker. Jyn winced and jerked her head back to examine the origin of the sound. She never heard the ship hum towards them past the deafening explosion, but sure enough, Rogue One hovered above.

“Or... you can simply sit there and die,” the voice continued when they didn’t stir. “See if I care. Last time I’ll go out of my way to save—”

“K-2,” Cassian murmured as a grin overcame his features. “Just in time.”

Jyn remembered to breathe. A tingling warmth filled the abyss residing in her chest, something she hadn’t felt in years, if not all her life—hope.

“Come on,” she snapped to Cassian, already forcing him back to his feet.

“Oh, _oh_.” K-2SO’s voice filtered through the speakers while the hatch dropped down from the ship. “ _Now_ you two are looking livelier. You’re welcome.”

Bodhi’s voice mixed in the background, chiding K-2 for not focusing on nav coordinates to get them the hell out of there. Jyn didn’t hide her smile. They were alive, the others, but more importantly, they came back for her and Cassian. Maybe K-2 would drone off about how he _had_ to, because Cassian _said so_ , but it made no difference. Hearing their voices, even amidst an argument, was better than never hearing them again.

Upon hoisting Cassian into the hull, Jyn paused to observe their surroundings. In the cockpit was both Bodhi and K-2, busy with flipping switches and trying to communicate with the fleeing Rebel forces. The latter peered back, first eyeing the limping Cassian, then Jyn, then back to Cassian.

“She didn’t do that to you?” he mentioned dryly.

Jyn paused, unsure if his words were rhetorical or demanding, but Cassian chuckled. “Never,” he ended up saying.

“Good.” K-2 turned back to the console. “One last meatbag I need to dispose of. I already met my quota for doing so for the year. I’m sorry... _your_ quota.”

“You put up a good fight?” Cassian teased.

“Better than you did, apparently.”

Cassian nodded his head in defeat, albeit with a smile.

“Thank you,” Jyn called out to K-2.

“For what?”

“For finding us.”

K-2 froze and glanced back again. “I didn’t find you.”

And when his glowing, unblinking eyes looked past her, Jyn followed his gaze and held her breath. Baze sat in one of the seats with Chirrut lying beside him, head propped up in his lap. There was also blood, perhaps more than what Cassian lost, but Baze was quick to mend them with bandages and medi-gel.

“I knew you were still out there,” Chirrut chimed in, his spirit never wavering upon his wise tongue. “The Force brought us to you.”

“It almost got you killed,” Baze muttered.

“It protected me.”

“ _I_ protected you, _I_ carried you back here, and right now, _I_ _’m_ keeping you from bleeding out.”

A playful chuckle rang through the interior. “It protected _us_.”

Jyn shuffled closer with Cassian to find Chirrut smiling and Baze appearing more concerned than aggravated. Grime and blood encrusted both of their outfits, yet they were alive. Wounds would heal and the scars were worth it if it meant they’d live to see tomorrow.

“You two staying out of trouble?” Cassian managed to get out.

“Just as much as you two have,” Chirrut replied, blind eyes to the ceiling.

Jyn blushed while Cassian coughed, though not out of pain from his wounds.

“We didn’t think we’d find you,” Baze said, wrapping up one last bandage to eye them both. “Glad we got you in time, though it looks like you need some medical attention yourself.”

Jyn could almost hear Cassian roll his eyes. “I’m not—”

“I’ll take whatever you’re not using,” Jyn said.

A smirk appeared on Baze’s dirtied face as he tossed her the med kit.

“Hang onto something back there!” Bodhi’s voice boomed through the walls of Rogue One. “This isn’t going to be a smooth getaway.”

Before he finished that sentence, the entire ship quaked. Jyn caught Cassian before he collided into the floor. As for the two before them, Baze buckled up while clasping onto Chirrut.

“It’s good to see you,” Baze said, eyes flicking to both of them.

Jyn replied with a nod and brought Cassian to the seats on the opposite wall. Not exactly a cot, but she wasn’t about to allow Cassian to crash on the floor, nor was she about to waste time searching for said cot. She helped him find a comfortable position on his back, then went to work tending to his wound. Her fingers trembled over needles and gauze. Her mind raced with piecing together an impromptu procedure.

All of that stilled when Cassian rested a hand upon her shoulder.

“Jyn,” he whispered. “It’s okay.”

“You’re going to bleed out if we don’t—”

He squeezed. “Slow down. It’ll be alright.”

Coming from him, she couldn’t discern if it was a joke or sincerity. One look in those eyes was enough.

“I don’t want you dying on me now,” she confessed with a shake of her head.

“I won’t.” He licked his lips before adding on, “I promise.”

She believed in promises as much as she believed in their chances of survival. But there they were, back on Rogue One with what survivors they could round up and preparing for departure. The ship trembled as they dodged attacks and fallen debris, but a hint of calmness resided in Bodhi’s voice while he confirmed each step preparing for lightspeed. K-2 interjected with his occasional statistics of probability to confirm their chances of reaching the right atmosphere to zip through the crack in the barrier and disappear in a blink of an eye. Chirrut chanted quietly, as he always did, and Baze joined in, a stark contrast to his partner’s melodic tone.

And when Jyn focused on Cassian, she found no white lies covering the truth.

Their foreheads met and noses bumped. His breath was steady upon her lips. Her fingers intertwined with his, neither easing their vice grip hold on one another.

“You still owe me a proper bed,” Jyn murmured.

Cassian snickered. “Yeah, well... these seats sadly won’t cut it, but another time.”

“Another time.”

The engine churned and hummed, the intensity building gradually until it filled Jyn’s ears. She nuzzled into him and locked lips softly, no longer dreading their meek chances of survival. And when Rogue One dropped out of lightspeed and soared smoothly through space, cheers filled the hull while she and Cassian smiled for each other.


End file.
